Ways to Eat Crow!

There are few expressions that can conjure up a picture of humiliation and admission of defeat for us human types, as "having to eat crow"!

And, so, I thought I would take it upon myself to come up with various elements in the preparation, and serving of, this unique dish. These might make it, if not palatable, at least memorable.

1. Like revenge, crow should be served cold! Never try to warm it over with excuses or hints of platitudes to ease the digestion of the crow eater.

2. Like a root canal, the pain of eating crow can be mitigated to a point, but the essence of the pain should reach deep enough to be felt at some level of consciousness.

3. Eating crow should never absolve the diner of the cause of the public humiliation; "Forgive, but Never forget!" is my personal motto (You can use it at a nominal cost...)

4.When serving crow, one should always try to have at least a few good friends over to witness it being consumed.

5. If all of the crow is not eaten by the contrite party, it doesn't count, and a whole new bird will need to be prepared. (Public flogging is out of vogue now, so give them the bird instead).

Well, I have to say, I tire of thinking about the people who have screwed up consistently and are always saying, "Sorry...I messed up.."

They can stand, with downcast eyes, recounting all the ways they failed, wailing on and on about how they should have done something different, something better...

But in the end, they are still leaving one elephant to Trumpet his victory. Sometimes, eating crow just isn't enough penance. Maybe they were too Conservative with the sauce!