"Chainsaw Screamin' Like A Banshee" by Francesca Quarto

Published on by Francesca Quarto

The night was black as a bush-whacker's heart, if'n he had one.  I weren't lookin' to find me no trouble, but it sure as hell found me!  An I'm speakn' truth, hand to heart, them sounds comin' from that ol' lumber mill, wernt of this here world!  They was like a chain saw, jes a screamin' like one a them Banshee I heared tell about as a tyke from mamaw Petes.

Jus' out fer a stroll en smoke (ya know how the ol' woman don't abide with a fella smokin' comfortable like in his own home).  I was takin' my sweet ol' time, on account a how peaceable-like it were out there.  

Truth tell, I sorta lost count a the time, an my wandern' done took me pert far off from my place.  After a goodly bit, I suspitioned, I was standn' jes a spit away from the Battles Brothers Lumber Mill.  

Lucky fer me, twas a fat moon hanging like a gal dern lantern over everthin'.  I seen real good, even without them specs I left behind.

I weren't in no hurry.  I jes ambled along as smooth as a bobcat's whisker an take myself a look inside.

I heared stories 'bout that there mill bein' full a ghosts an all, but them stories 'bout the gold hid there was more intrestin' to me.  

Story goes, two brothers owned the lumber mill, but had them a fierce falln' out.  One brother took a chain saw t'other an spattered that cut wood like a red rain.  That ain't all neither.  That murderin' brother took the chain saw to the body an sawed it like a Sundy roast! That boy made hisself a pile a bloody chunks.  When he finished off his sawing, he gathered ever' bit an...now this here part of the story is kindy hard on the digestion, ifn' you know what I mean...any hows...he boxes them chunks an pieces and takes em to that fella, next town yonder, with that pig farm.  Guess them porkers had them a good meal that day!

So, there I was, jes beginin' ta snoop around a bit; turnin' over piles a stacked planks, an pokin' into holes in the floor, when I hear a new sound.  

At first, I hear a moanin' sound, then...an this is when I got a little anxious-like...the next sound was someone startn' up a chain saw.

That low growlin' hit my ear like a bear swollered my fool head! I spun round ta fix where it might be comin' from and seen' nothin' but rotted wood piles 'n sawdust layin' all over.

Lookn' down at that sawdust, I seen somethin' ta make my heart rub up agin my Adam's Apple!

Foot prints on that there floor.  But they tweren't no human beens, this I knowd right off. They had the look of bare footedness to em, like maybe some chilluns was playin' there.  Only these ones was too big for no little kids.  Bigger then mine, an I got me some size thirteens.

Well, that's what got me ta movin.  That chain saw was jes a hummin' away some, them prints was too big fer human, an ta top it all, I was late fer supper.  

So, I backed my feet up fer the door.  That's when it jumped out a them shadowy spots I never studied on when I come into the place.  

A big fella was standin' in a weak poke a moonlight, an holdin' a live chain saw in his two huge hands. He made it to scream like a cat with 'is tail afire...once, twice...an kept on lookin' over at me.  

Me, I'm jes standing like a pony on a carousel, waitin on someone ta start me up!

I ain't gonna story ya none an say I jes laughed into that fearsome ugly face.  Nope.  I let out a yell that come somewheres down in my boots and crawled like a pecker up a tree, til it hit my mouth with the force a lightnin' and near tore a hole in the roof of that there mill!

There ain't much more ta tell, 'cept the ghost I seen was the murderin' brother fer ceratin.  He had a taste fer blood I reckon and waited fer any ol' fool to come along lookin' fer the gold burred there.

When I got home ta the old woman, she didn't think much about my story and decided if I had to go wanderin' off, I might take my dinner fer breakfast.

I can hear my belly screamin' fer food.  That were my belly weren't it?...


Story as told by Digger Pete

















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